Red Sox Redux

The Boston Red Sox announced today that the upcoming 2006 season will be a repeat of the team’s championship 2004 year.

“Every game, every ball, every strike will be a replica of 2004,” said team CEO Larry Lucchino. “2004 the best season ever, like a fairy tale that you love to tell again and again.  So we figured, ‘Why not?’”

Team owners Lucchino and John Henry said they came to the decision after observing fan interest and press coverage during the 2005 season.  “Even as we were in the playoffs this year against the White Sox, there was more attention being given to retrospectives of 2004,” said Henry. “Rather than caring about what the team was doing today, fans just wanted to gaze at the trophy and reminisce about last year.”

For home games, the team plans to use actors playing the roles of Red Sox players as well as those of visiting teams.  “You’ll be able to see Pedro again.  Johnny will grow his beard real long, and Mark Bellhorn will be back, as goofy and lovable as ever,” said Henry. For away games, the team will simply rebroadcast the original 2004 games on NESN.

The Boston Globe, which through its parent company the New York Times is a significant owner of the team, has already signed on. “We’ll play it straight,” said Globe publisher Richard Gilman, “as if we had no idea what each day’s game would bring.” The team is still in negotiations with the Boston Herald, but said it expected the city’s second newspaper would also cooperate. 

The team said it had also reached agreement with actor Jimmy Fallon, who played a rabid Sox fan in the movie Fever Pitch, to attend most games.  “We even plan to have Drew Barrymore run across the field during game four of the ALCS,” said Lucchino. “This time for real.”

Sox owners rhapsodized about the opportunity of reliving the epic season.  “Shilling’s bloody sock, Ortiz’ clutch home runs, the collision of Damon and Damian Jackson -- every exciting play will happen again, just as it did before,” Henry said. When reporters pointed out that the Damon-Jackson collision actually occurred in 2003, not 2004, Henry said, “Really?  But it was such a great, heart-stopping moment.  We’ll have to see if we can work it in.”