South Korean scientists announced today that they have
succeeded in cloning 11 human beings, all of whom spent the last year as candidates for
the Boston city council.
The South Korean group -- headed by Hwang Woo Suk of Seoul National University -- extracted DNA from two Irish guest workers, cloned the cells in Petri dishes, and raised them on a strict diet of meat and potatoes before sending them to America.
The announcement seemingly provided an answer to a
phenomenon that has puzzled local observers. Despite the fact that Boston's population is over 50 percent non-white and
that Irish-Americans account for an increasingly small fraction of its
residential base, an overwhelming preponderance of the 15 candidates in the
city’s September preliminary elections bore an Irish-American surname.
“We visited a bar in South Boston and asked people their names,” said Suk. “Then we just re-used them: Michael
Flaherty, Steve Murphy, Patricia White, John Connolly, Ed Flynn, Matt O’Malley,
Kevin McKrea, Greg O’Connell, Martin Hogan, Joe Ready … you get the idea. Heck, we even have one of our clones running
for mayor. We named her Hennigan.”
“We are delighted, of course, that six of our clones were among the top eight in September and will now be on the November ballot,” added Suk.
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