Many Say Jobs Not Their Strong Suit

In the wake of attorney general Tom Reilly’s admission that “politics is not my strong suit,” citizens across the country offered up that they too were incompetent in their chosen professions.

Reilly, the state’s top elected Democratic official and a candidate for Governor, had made the excuse after choosing a lieutenant governor candidate who less than a day later had to resign following revelations of unpaid taxes and federal school loans.

Others quickly said they faced similar problems. “War is not my strong suit,” said secretary of defense Donald Rumsfeld at a press conference. “That’s why our presence in Iraq has been such a miserable failure.” Former Red Sox shortstop Edgar Renteria, who committed 30 errors during the 2005 season, issued a statement explaining that, “Fielding is not my strong suit.”  And former CEO of Enron Jeff Skilling’s attorneys offered up a glimpse of a new defense strategy, saying that, “Running a company was never Jeff’s strong suit.”

Other less prominent people also said they had the same flaws. Fred Johnson, a local plumber who managed to reverse hot and cold water lines in a 24-units condo development, explained that, “Plumbing was never my strong suit.” And florist Amanda Bishop, who sent out dozens of arrangements of brown and rotting flowers, explained that “Flowers were never my strong suit.”

Management consultant Priscilla Peate said that the admissions were not surprising. “Many Americans have no idea of how to do their jobs well,” she said. “And insisting that they be competent seems deeply unfair. What matters should not be how you perform, but rather the prestige and money attached to it.”

“Of course,” she added, “I might be wrong.  Management consulting was never my strong suit.”