Bush Says He Now Understands What It’s Like To Be A Minority

With recent polls showing that less than one-third of Americans support him, President George W. Bush said he now empathizes with blacks, Latinos and other racial and ethnic minorities.

“It’s really tough,” said the President. “I realize that most of the people I run into these days just don’t like me.  And it got me thinking, heck, this is exactly what it’s like for minorities in America.”

Just two years ago, Bush received a majority of the popular vote against Democrat John Kerry.  “Now I’m a member of a minority group, being discriminated against by the majority,” Bush said, citing his falling approval ratings. His new status as a member of a minority group has wrought profound changes in his life, Bush said.  For example, when he goes to state dinners, he now congregates with other Republicans who still support him rather than wandering around the room shaking hands. “I’d always wondered at Yale why all the blacks sat together in the dining hall,” Bush said. “Now I understand.”

The newly empathetic President said he is even rethinking policies such as diversity training and affirmative action.  “People say the unkindest things to the minorities that support the President.  That’s just wrong,” Bush said. “We need a speech code to stop hateful stuff like that.  And while we’re at it, how about some hiring and promotion preferences for those who support the President?  With all of the discrimination coming from Democrats, they deserve a leg up.”