The Week in Review

Under pressure to shake up his administration, which has seen a dramatic decline in support, President George W. Bush fired the only White House insider who had seemed able to bridge the divide between Democrats and Republicans. 

Andrew Card, chief of staff since Bush was first elected, had been seen as a moderate who consistently played the role of honest broker and refused to engage in harsh partisanship. Bush said Card’s departure should serve as a warning to his critics.  “Keep on harassing me, and I’ll get rid of Condi and put Rove in her place,” he warned.

On Capitol Hill, Congress began debating new restrictions on lobbying that would prohibit politicians from accepting any meals from lobbyists. Lobbyists said the changes would have little effect. “Luckily the bill says nothing about cash under the table,” said one.

Meanwhile, as the Senate Judiciary Committee debated changes to the nation's immigration policies, Latinos and other recent immigrants held massive demonstrations in cities around the country. Carrying children, waving flags, and bearing signs that professed their love for the country, the demonstrators represented, “Everything that’s wrong with the United States,” said Congressman Tom Tancredo (R-CO), the House’s most hard-line anti-immigrant voice.

In their own testimony before the Judiciary Committee, Native American groups urged Congress to adopt some of the toughest immigration restrictions yet.  Under their proposals, not only would all those from Latin America be sent back to their countries of origin, but so too would all those of European descent. “These people came here, took our land and our jobs, and destroyed our way of life,” said one witness before the Committee. “They never should have been here in the first place.”

Tancredo, the grandson of Italian immigrants, said the Native Americans’ arguments seemed logical and that he and his family soon would be moving back to Italy.

In international news, Americans were jubilant after the release of Christian Science Monitor journalist Jill Carroll. Upon hearing the news, Bush immediately responded by saying, “Thank God,” although he did not reveal whether his appreciation was directed at the Christian or the Moslem God. For her part, Carroll described three months of brutality that included being required to use the same bathroom and shower over and over again and having to eat all of the food and candy that her captors gave her. Now, she lamented to reporters, “I’m fat.”   Oprah Winfrey, a veteran of binge eating and dieting crises, said such treatment by Carroll’s captors was “sadistic.”

The country of Iran announced that it had successfully tested a new stealth missile that could evade US radar and anti-missile defense systems.  Defense Department officials scoffed at the claim. “Our superior technology allows us to find anything,” they said.  “Just look at our success in tracking down bin Laden.”

Closer to home, the Massachusetts State Lottery and the Boston Red Sox said they had teamed up to offer a new kind of instant scratch ticket emblazoned with the Red Sox logo and with prizes that included lifetime season’s tickets at Fenway.  Former Cincinnati Reds superstar Pete Rose said the move by the team represented a “long overdue step forward for major league baseball,” and announced that he would be moving to Massachusetts to "get into the action.”

Finally, in sad news, one-time Reagan Defense Secretary Caspar Weinberger died this week at age 89.  He is expected to return to the public stage shortly, however, as a “friendly ghost.”