A Conspiracy in Your Future

The following is a transcript of a recording recovered from 20 Temple Street, which was destroyed yesterday by a rapidly-moving fire. 

Q: Your name?

A: Madame Anna Rose, seer of all.

Q: Can you explain the paperwork I have on the desk here -- bank statements, stock certificates, real estate deeds...?

A: They’re all mine, honey.

Q: How much are they worth, do you think?

A: Well, I haven’t looked at stock prices today but, to hazard a guess, about $27 billion.

Q: Billion?!

A: That’s right, dear.

Q: And how did you get all of this?

A: I’m a psychic. I know what stocks will rise and I buy into them.  I know what will fall, and I sell it. It’s really quite simple.

Q: Is that all?

A: Sometimes I buy lottery tickets.  For a change of pace.

Q: That’s extraordinary.  You’re operating here, dressed in rags in a crummy little storefront on the third floor, and you’re one of the richest people in the world.

A: Aach, I’m nothing.  Some of the other psychics, they really pay attention to this stuff.  You should see what they’re worth.

Q: Other psychics?  You mean there’s a group of you?

A: Sure honey.  And there has been for a long time. We own probably 90 percent of the wealth in the world -- every successful company, all the gold and diamonds, pretty much every worthwhile piece of property there is.

Q: That can't be true.  How about shareholders? How about billionaires such as Bill Gates, Carlos Slim Helu, Ingvar Kamprad, Warren Buffet…?

A: All fronts.  They’re really just managing our money.

Q: But with wealth like that you could control the world.

A: We do, dear.  Every politician, every war, pretty much everything that goes on – we’re behind it.

Q: Unbelievable.

A: Hardly.  What’s unbelievable is you haven’t picked up on it. We’ve been telling you for years. We call ourselves fortunetellers, clairvoyants, mind readers.  But do you listen…?

Q: But if you’re so wealthy, then why do you work in this dump here, charging five bucks just to read someone’s palm?

A: Aach.  It passes the time, you know?  ... Oh, dear, it’s late.  If you’ll excuse me, honey, I need to leave. There's a fire.

Q: Fire? Fire?? I don’t smell anyth…