Bedtime Story

Mary: Jesus, will those kids ever quiet down?

Jesus (looks up from papyrus): I don’t know, Mary. Let me check on them. (He walks down hall to the bedroom.)

Jesus: Hey guys, it’s bedtime. Time to be quiet and go to sleep.

Marie: Aw, Dad, I can’t get to sleep.

JC Jr.: Daddy, tell us a story.

Jesus: A story, huh? What would you guys like to hear?

Marie: Tell us how you met Mom.

JC Jr.: Yeah, pleee-ase…

Jesus: Oh, sure, why not. Well, back in the old days, before you were born, I used to be a teacher. I’d walk around from town to town and in one of those towns, I met your Mom. Back then, her name was Mary Magdelene.

JC Jr.: What was she doing there?

Jesus: Your Mom? Uh, uh, she was an -- um -- entertainer.

Marie: Did she put on shows?

Jesus:  Boy, she sure did…I mean, well, nevermind. Eventually she and I decided to travel around together and we started to fall in love but then something terrible happened.

Marie and JC Jr. (together): Tell us!

Jesus: Some of the bigwigs around there were upset with me and decided to put me to death.  I knew this was going to happen and told my friends about it. Your Mom was there too, sitting right next to me -- you can see it in DaVinci’s painting…

Marie: DaVinci?

Jesus: Oh, that’s right, he’s not for a few centuries yet. Anyway, I was captured and the next day they nailed me to a cross and killed me.

Marie and JC Jr.: Daddy! (Both kids start crying.)

Jesus: No, no.  Don’t worry.  Your Mom and I had a few tricks up our sleeves. Three days later, I got better and met up with your Mom.  Let me tell you, were we happy to see each other.  She had been so worried about me and I really didn’t know what had been happening to her.  So we decided we needed to leave and move somewhere else where no one could find us and try to hurt us again. And that’s how we ended up here, in France, living on our farm, growing grapes, and making wine.

JC Jr.: You’re the best winemaker, aren’t you Daddy?

Jesus: Well, I do have an edge…

Marie: Did all this really happen, Daddy? 

Jesus: The gospel truth, honey.  Just ask Dan Brown.