Al Gore and I are on the phone and he brings up Ernesto. “It’s a big problem,” he says and I find myself forced to agree.
Last year we were in our glory. Twenty-seven official storms! It was a modern record. There were so many that the National Hurricane Center ran out of names and had to use Greek letters for the last six.
“Alpha, Beta, Gamma, Delta, Epsilon, and Zeta,” he recites. “And don’t forget the 28th that no one ever named.”
“Man, you are good,” I tell him.
“Hey, I’m just warming up,” he says and I give a big laugh.
“Funny one, Al.” Al likes the flattery. Now that he’s a movie star and Tipper’s photos are selling, they’re A-list once again. It never hurts to suck up.
2005 really had been a good year. There was Katrina, of course, but three other Category 5s as well. Three of the top ten worst storms ever were in 2005. Hurricanes -- and global warming -- became the news stories of the year and Inconvenient Truth made Al the issue’s poster boy. And 2006 was started off well too -- forecasters warned in May that it could be just as bad. Needless to say, we were psyched.
And then along comes Ernesto. Everyone’s all excited. We’re thinking that Florida gets wiped out and -- boom -- there’s our swing state for 2008, right in Al’s pocket, when, suddenly, all we’ve got is a tropical depression and a few leaky roofs. “I thought for sure this would be the big one,” I say. “What a disappointment.”
“We’ve had nothing so far,” I continue. “Time is running cover stories about the birth of the universe, for God’s sake. The latest prediction is maybe five storms in all. Al, if we’re not careful, you’ll be off the radar.”
“Don’t give up yet,” Al says. “We’re right in the midst of the Katrina anniversary and we’ve still got remembrances of Stan, Rita and Wilma yet to go. Plus, the season isn’t over. There’re three more months.”
That’s Al for you. Even when things look the bleakest, he’ll always find a bright side.
“Plus,” he adds, “There’s always Tipper’s Parents Music Resource Center. Did you see the MTV awards the other night? I was there. Now that stuff really is an outrage.”