Tom Keane

Politically correct

The Fortnight That Wasn't

After DNA tests established the paternity of the infant daughter of the late Anna Nicole Smith, attorneys filed a class-action suit on behalf of 3.4 million disappointed men. "All along, our clients had bragged to friends, colleagues, and even spouses that they were the fathers of Dannielynn," said one attorney. "Now they are forced to admit it was all just a fantasy -- not only aren't they the father , but they didn't even have sex with her. The humiliation they face is unbearable." The attorneys are seeking damages of $10 billion from the late Playboy centerfold's estate as well as acknowledgement that if Smith had in fact met the plaintiffs, it's possible she would have dated them. "This isn't about money," the attorney continued. "It's about respect."

In other entertainment news, the arts community said it planned to rally to the defense of ousted talk-show host Don Imus. "We are concerned that Imus's forced departure will have a chilling effect on artists everywhere," said a spokesperson for the community, saying artists feared for the future of hip-hop, HBO specials such as "Bad Boys of Comedy," and talents such as photographer Andres Serrano. "It's getting to the point where it's becoming more and more difficult to degrade people based on gender, race, ethnicity, or religion," said one artist. "What a grim, joyless world we have become."

In local news, Boston Mayor Thomas Menino last week unveiled a citywide effort to reduce greenhouse gas emissions. As a first step, Menino said, he would be canceling all future meetings of the City Council.

In a related development, federal officials said that despite recent state approvals, they were delaying any possible action on the Cape Wind project until 2008. "I don't know what the rush is," said one official. "Even the most pessimistic studies on global warming say it'll be decades before the ice caps melt. What's the hurry?"

Meanwhile, on Beacon Hill, the leaders of the Massachusetts government expressed thanks to "some guy with a corner office in the State House" for his suggestions on the state budget. "As always, we appreciate ideas from members of the public on how best to spend our money," said House Speaker Sal DiMasi. "But in the end -- as it has been for the last 16 years -- the budget is the Legislature's job."

Comedians said this week that the massacre of 32 at Virginia Tech was making their jobs impossible. "It's just like 9/11," said one. "It's too raw and too ugly -- there's simply nothing you can say that isn't offensive." Yet the memories of Americans are short, he added. "It's a sad fact of life," he said, "But pretty soon we'll be back to worrying about whether Paris goes to jail."

On the campaign trail, presidential candidate Mitt Romney ran into controversy over his claim that he had been a long time member of the Air Line Pilots Association. In a speech to the association, Romney clarified his comments. "When I said I had been a 'licensed pilot for 30 years,' I meant that I'd frequently been a passenger on commercial aircraft," Romney explained. "And when I spoke of owning several jets, I meant of course that I built them as plastic models when I was a kid."

In technology, a report from consulting firm IDC of Framingham said rising levels of spam are turning younger consumers away from e-mail in favor of a new method of communication: telephony. "It's so cool," said one high schooler. "Now you can speak -- real time -- with anyone you want. And you can hear them talking back to you instantly, with no time lag at all." According to the study, many teenagers are unaware they already have such two-way telephony devices, known as "phones," built into the combination music, video, photo, and text-messaging devices that they currently own.

And finally, British officials embarrassed by Iran's recent capture of 15 sailors and marines warned that any further hostage-takings would force them to bring back Winston Churchill as prime minister. When reminded that Churchill had died more than 40 years ago, a spokesperson for the government said it didn't matter. "A dead Churchill," he said, "is still more intimidating than a live Tony Blair."

Debut column, published on April 20, 2007. "The Fortnight That Wasn't" appears every other week on the op-ed page of The Boston Sunday Globe.

City Hall on Your Corner

Go ahead, Mr. Mayor, and raze Government Center's eyesore. But resist the urge to build a replacement.

Tom Menino is right: We should tear down City Hall. But do we really need to build a new one? The mayor has never made a secret of his unhappiness with the 39-year-old building and the grim plaza that surrounds it. Shortly after he assumed office in 1993, he kicked off an all-out effort to improve it. After more than a dozen fruitless years, the truth of the matter became apparent: City Hall and its plaza simply can’t be fixed. The only solution is to bulldoze the concrete monster and convert the space to new uses – perhaps offices, condos, restaurants, a grassy park. The project could net Boston a fair chunk of change and still leave it with better and more usable public space than it has now.

So Godspeed with your plans, Mr. Mayor, and ignore the snipes of architects unwilling to admit their mistakes and city councilors looking for an argument.

Less good, however, is Menino’s proposal to build City Hall’s replacement along the South Boston Waterfront. Skeptics say the location is inconvenient and that it’s a ham-handed effort to jump-start development. True or not, those complaints miss the real issue: Why should we have a City Hall at all? Perhaps, instead, we should remake city government altogether, decentralizing operations and bringing services closer to Boston’s residents.

My model for this begins with something most everyone agrees was a mistake: Mayor Kevin White’s “Little City Halls.” There were 14 of them around the city in the 1970s; they were supposed to do all that the big hall did, but more conveniently and with greater sensitivity to local needs. Instead, staffers at the neighborhood offices used them to create their own bases of power, setting up a dynamic of them vs. downtown. Moving to stop that, White seized control, then used the Little City Halls to reward friends and punish enemies, critics at the time charged. This early experiment in decentralization was such a disappointment that when Proposition 2½ budget cuts forced White to shutter the program in 1981, few protested.

But times have changed. Much of the failure of the Little City Halls was due to a lack of technology. Back then, satellite offices had to be given some measure of authority and discretion, since automated databases and real-time access to information were largely unavailable. Today, of course, communications and computers mean city services can be delivered more cheaply and more conveniently from anywhere. The worries about satellite offices developing their own agendas or becoming politicized are outdated. Decentralization no longer means a loss of control.

In fact, much decentralization has already taken place. The Parks and Recreation Department – parts of which were once located in City Hall – is now at 1010 Massachusetts Avenue (between the South End, Roxbury, and Dorchester), as are Inspectional Services and the Public Health Commission. The Police and Fire Department headquarters and the Department of Archives and Records are scattered throughout Boston. Moreover, the city is working to renovate the Ferdinand Building in Dudley Square, which will eventually house the School Department and the Department of Neighborhood Services.

So, if not all city operations have to be at City Hall, why have one in the first place? Well, of course, a City Hall does communicate the, ahem, majesty of local government (please don’t snicker), and there is something to be said for that. Logically, the two branches of government – the mayor’s office and the City Council – should be located in one place. So, too, should some key planning and financial offices, as well as rooms for hearings and such.

But not much else. One could imagine a small, elegant City Hall downtown – perhaps moving it back to its former digs in the gorgeous and sadly underused Old City Hall on School Street (now occupied by a steakhouse, no less). City operations could be located throughout Boston, in places that are less costly, more accessible, and more efficient. And city services – licenses, permits, tax and ticket payments, and the like – could be handled by satellite offices or through the Web. It could be a win-win for all: We raze an ugly building and get a better government in return.

Originally published in the Boston Sunday Globe Magazine, April 15, 2007.

   

The Triumph of Victor Valley Alums

Or why you shouldn't sweat it if you don't get accepted to an Ivy League school.

I feel sorry for you, high school seniors. College acceptance letters are arriving, too many thin, too few thick. The days of reckoning are upon you, the days that make or break you.

Maybe you’re one of the lucky few who get into an elite school, the schools so carefully ranked by US News & World Report, The Princeton Review, and the like. Congratulations. Your life is set. You’ll have a great job, make big money, and find fulfillment in whatever you do. You’ll marry well, drive a nice car, and have two perfect kids. But what if the college of your choice tells you that you are not its choice? Forget your dreams. From now until the moment of your death, life will be just one unrelieved slog of grinding disappointment.

In some fashion, this surely is what we, your elders, have led you to believe. We start the quest for the right college early these days. That’s why it’s so important to get into the right preschool, so that you can get into the right kindergarten, the right elementary school, and then, of course, the right high school. It’s why we hired all of those tutors, made you join school clubs, demanded you take every AP offering, and ruined your weekends with SAT and ACT prep courses. “Build that resume!” was our mantra, and that’s what you dutifully did. So what if you didn’t really help many poor people on that trip to Peru. The point is, it looks good.

So I’m here to tell you: We’ve been lying. It really doesn’t matter whether you get into an Ivy League school or someplace unknown. I know you’re thinking, if the only one that accepts me is UMass, I’m a loser. Who knows? Maybe young Jack Welch once felt that way, too, but the former GE exec and UMass alum turned out OK – in fact, he’s making ads for the place. Hotshot lawyer Cheryl Cronin, the Boston mover and shaker whom Republican and Democratic pols turn to whenever they’re in trouble, also went to UMass, as did Marian Heard, former CEO of United Way of Massachusetts Bay. Onetime BU czar John Silber went to Trinity University in San Antonio, Red Sox owner John Henry attended Victor Valley College in California, former Hancock CEO David D’Alessandro went to Utica College in New York, former Senate President Robert Travaglini went to Boston State, and Boston Mayor Tom Menino got his associate’s degree from Chamberlayne Junior College. The list of successful men and women who made it despite never attending top-ranked colleges appears endless.

Meanwhile, President Bush attended Yale.

I trust you see my point.

This is more than an exercise in anecdotes, however. It’s pretty widely known that the selectivity of the college one attends doesn’t relate to success in life. A 1999 study for the National Bureau of Economic Research by economists Alan B. Kreuger and Stacy Berg Dale found that “students who attended more selective colleges do not earn more than other students.” Many others have drawn the same conclusion, yet, for some reason, we haven’t managed to communicate it to you. Instead, we’ve let you spend the last year in an existential panic.

For that, I apologize. Of course, it is true that if one looks at, say, Harvard graduates, in general, they probably have done better than those from lesser-known schools. But that’s not because Harvard is so good. Rather, Harvard attracts students with talent, and, for the most part, people with talent do tend to do better than those without. Yet if talented people don’t go to Harvard, the research shows they still do fine. Indeed, whatever advantages elite schools once did have are rapidly disappearing. There’s no doubt that in times past, a degree from an Ivy League gave a graduate a solid spot in the old-boy network (and even now will earn a job seeker a second look). However, in today’s ever more meritocratic workplace, it’s performance, skills, and creativity – not connections – that ultimately count.
I realize these words offer cold comfort for the trials we’ve put you through. But hey juniors, listen up! Don’t make the same mistake. Your success isn’t a function of which college you attend. Rather, it’s all about what you do when you’re there.

Originally published in the Boston Sunday Globe Magazine, April 1, 2007. © Copyright 2007 Globe Newspaper Company.