The Fortnight That Wasn't
HOLLYWOOD WRITERS went on strike, shutting down or sharply curtailing production of many popular television shows and movies. The action-adventure show "24" was cut to "6," "Heroes" was temporarily reduced to "Hero," and late-night talk shows had to be conducted largely in pantomime.
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As the work stoppage spread into its second week, fallout from the strike intensified. "We rely on these writers to provide the clever banter and repartee one then hears repeated the next day around the water cooler," said one analyst in comments that appeared to have been scripted by a scab. Office workers told tales of having to endure stale conversations about the weather and the antics of co-workers' children. "It's terrible, I know," said one woman after recounting an incident involving her 3-year-old and a mashed banana, "but without the writers feeding me material, I really have nothing else to say."
In Pakistan, dictator General Pervez Musharraf declared a state of emergency, placed opposition leader Benazir Bhutto under house arrest, and announced that he was ready to hold elections. Musharraf said that final returns from the elections would show him with 90 percent of the vote, but that out of respect for the "democratic process" he would not formally release the results until after the elections were held in January.
President Nicolas Sarkozy of France made his first visit to the White House and was warmly greeted by President Bush as the two leaders announced the two nations were once again fast friends. Caught up in the excitement, congressional leaders renamed freedom fries back to french fries, the National Park Service announced Boston's Freedom Trail would now be called the French Trail, and executors of Janis Joplin's estate released a redubbed version of her most famous lyric, "French is just another word for nothing left to lose."
In Washington, an emboldened Congress overrode Bush's veto of a $23 billion water bill that the White House said was stuffed with unnecessary projects. Democrats said the override - the first ever in Bush's seven-year-tenure - proved their mettle. "When it comes to matters of pork," said Senate majority leader Harry Reid, "we're not going to let this president push us around."
In campaign news, Republican Mitt Romney said he had decided against giving a Kennedy-esque speech explaining that he wouldn't allow faith to interfere with his secular responsibilities as president. "It turns out that it just wouldn't be true," he explained. "I and every other GOP candidate will do everything we can to kowtow to the religious right - and that's certainly not going to stop if one of us is elected president."
Retailers began advertising for Christmas immediately after Halloween in what may be the earliest start ever to the holiday shopping season. "This isn't about us," said a spokesperson for the National Retail Federation. "This is about giving Christians more time to contemplate the birth of their savior than they would get if we only allowed them the traditional four weeks."
After drought conditions reached critical levels, Governor Sonny Purdue of Georgia designated Nov. 13 a statewide day of prayer for rain. Purdue said he was sure God would deliver and was surprised the technique had never been used before. "We next plan to ask him to solve the state's budget shortfall," he said. "In fact, I'm real surprised the folks in Louisiana didn't ask him to stop that hurricane and I can't figure out why the president just didn't ask him to put WMDs in Iraq. After all, he's God - there's really nothing he can't do."
In local news, the business community cheered plans by the Red Sox to raise ticket prices for the 2008 season by 9 percent. "No matter what the price, it's difficult for our members to obtain tickets," said an official with the Greater Boston Chamber of Commerce. "Our hope is that this newest increase will shake some loose from all of those families with kids that are taking up the seats we need."
And finally, the ousted head of the Boston Public Library, Bernard Margolis, slammed Mayor Thomas Menino as "anti-intellectual." Menino said that wasn't true but that it would have been nice if Margolis had let the library buy more books with pictures.
Published on November 18, 2007. "The Fortnight That Wasn't" appears
every other week on the op-ed page of The Boston Sunday Globe.