No Woman for Our Times

I opposed Hillary Clinton because she was too old, too experienced and too much part of the Washington establishment. Barack was my guy – and the fact that he was a guy had nothing to do with it. Sure he was young, but that just meant his worldview was fresh, unleavened by cynicism. Hillary was kind of wrinkly. I’m pretty sure she used makeup by the pound; I’ll bet she did Botox on occasion; and I’m sure she dyed her hair. 

Barack, on the other hand, was trim and fit, with a firm jaw and, hey, he even looked good in a swimsuit. Sure, he had a thin resume: Community organizer, a state legislator for just seven years and a man who started running for President even before he had won his Senate seat in 2004.  So what?  The presidency isn’t something handed out to the person with the heaviest resume.  It’s about ideas and perspective.  It’s about being free of the taint of those Washington lobbyists. And, most importantly, it’s about change.  Hillary, a White Housewife for eight years, was part of the problem.  Not the George W. Bush problem, mind you, but the change problem. She had lived in Washington. Not only that, but she clearly had enjoyed herself while there.  I’m opposed to politicians – even Democrats -- who like Washington.  They support national healthcare, higher minimum wages, environmental protection, clean energy and the like. Obama supports those too, of course, as did John Kerry in 2004 and Al Gore in 2000.  But the point is, he also cares about change, and while I’m not exactly sure what change means, I know it must be very important.

Which brings me to this Sarah Palin chick. What a ridiculous choice she makes for vice president, especially when compared against Joe Biden. This has nothing to do with her gender. But Palin is simply too young, too inexperienced and knows nothing of Washington.  How could she ever be expected to take over the job of President? She’s Quayle in a skirt, the Alaskan GILF, the state house babe. Men still double-take when she walks by and you can’t have someone like that dealing with leaders from all over the world.  No one double-takes when Biden walks by. He’ll be taken seriously.

Moreover, Palin’s got a family: five kids and a newborn with Down’s syndrome who’s just four months old.  She can’t be running the country and caring for them at the same time.  Where are her priorities? Indeed – and I’m not being sexist here because this comment applies to all people who might get pregnant and not just women – I don’t believe anyone who is pre-menopausal should be permitted to run for higher office. They might have kids and I don’t want their loyalties divided. 

On top of that, Palin’s experience is pathetically thin: She’s been Governor of a state with just 670,000 people.  Meanwhile, Biden has been senator from Delaware, a state with 850,000.  That’s 180,000 more, and believe me, when it comes to leadership of the free world, that number matters. In addition, Palin knows nothing about Washington.  For one, she killed that “bridge to nowhere” which means she doesn’t understand how important it is to work with the right lobbyists.  Not only that, but she once even mocked the job of vice president (“What is it, exactly, that the Vice President does every day?”) which makes her sound as ignorant as John Adams (“the most insignificant office ever the invention of man contrived or his imagination conceived”) and we know how that turned out. Joe Biden, on the other hand, has been in Washington for 35 years.  He knows how the game is played.

I suppose at this point you’re probably thinking that if Clinton, with her age, experience and inside-the-beltway knowledge is unqualified to be president and Palin, with her youth, inexperience and outsider status is also unqualified to be president, what woman could possibly fit the bill?  Easy. We simply need to find a young-old woman with inexperienced experience who is also an insider-outsider.  I’m sure that if we search hard enough we’ll find her, somewhere, some day.  But until we do, it’s time to elect another man.