Tom Keane

The Week That Was: Naughty Nudes, Fallen Franken And Tippling On The T

It was the week when we all exhausted ourselves traveling to see friends and family, sure it was going to be a disaster ... and we had a good time.

• Next time, keep the lights off. Republican Representative Joe Barton just learned this week the same lesson parents everywhere have been trying to drum into their kids’ heads. Naked selfies. Don’t. Ever. Ever. Ever.
• Red-faced. Facebook said it plans to let users know if they liked or followed any Russian propaganda. Newest upcoming meme: “I knew that.” Yeah, sure you did.
• Economic powerhouse. Impeachment fans suffered another blow this week when new data showed jobless claims had dropped yet again, arguably to their lowest point in 47 years. Here’s the problem. At its core, all of Trump’s nativist, anti-immigrant, America First rhetoric was about jobs — especially jobs for those let go during the Great Recession. And ugly tweets and offensive bombast notwithstanding, the president seems to be delivering.
• That's just stinkin' thinkin! It’s a safe bet that Al Franken is no longer a viable presidential candidate for 2020. And if one more woman tells a story about him, it’s a safe bet he won’t even be senator.
• Another boost for Lyft. Uber admitted that a year ago hackers accessed data about 57 million Uber users, at which point the company paid $100,000 to another set of hackers to cover up the breach. Now it’s coming clean, firing its security chief and a subordinate. Two things. First, you know this goes deeper. No chief of security has power to go spending an unbudgeted $100,000 without getting approval from someone. And that someone, I’m guessing, has to be ex-CEO (and still director) corporate badboy Travis Kalanick. And second, when we talk about glowingly about “disruptive” companies and technologies, maybe we ought to make clear that “disrupting” doesn’t include basic ethics.
• Machiavellian. Donald Trump is being taken to task for saying folks should still vote for Roy Moore in the upcoming Alabama senate election. Yes, it’s appalling. But politically it’s a smart move. The GOP is in deep trouble if a Democrat wins a seat — its majority is then down to just one vote. And if Moore wins, it’s almost certain the Senate would refuse to seat him and so a substitute — a Republican — would take his place. And as for Trump’s personal reputation? Does anyone think it gets worse than it already is because he supported an alleged child-molester? Not me.
• Verizon wins one. The chair of the FCC proposed rolling back Obama-era net neutrality rules. Sounds like a great issue for Democrats except that no one understands net neutrality.
• Striking out. Journalist Charlie Rose and congressman John Conyers became the latest to be accused of sexual harassment. The behavior was the kind we’ve become increasingly accustomed to: Exposing oneself, grabbing, lewd come-ons and the like. All of which raises this question: Do this kind of stuff actually work? Did Rose ever walk into a room with his robe open and a woman suddenly says, “Yes, baby, I’m yours!” Of course not. Which means not only did these guys engage in behavior that risks their livelihoods, careers and reputations, but it was also completely pointless. Next time, gentlemen, try a different approach — with someone who’s not your employee, intern or underage: “Hi, care to have dinner with me tonight?”
• Why the Boy Scouts are winning. The Girl Scouts advised parents that their kids shouldn’t feel obliged to give grandma or grandpa a hug over the holidays, urging the kids to rebuff proffered arms with a high-five or an air-kiss. For a while I’ve been wondering when the sexual harassment tsunami would jump the shark. It just did.
• Fair-weather fans. Bostonians everywhere thrilled to the Celtics’ improbable string of victories until it was stopped at 16. At which point they shrugged their shoulders and said, “OK, we’ll watch again when it’s the playoffs.”
• Where’s Drizly when you need ‘em? And finally, the MBTA said it was planning to allow alcohol advertisements on trains and buses. But you still won’t be allowed to drink while riding. It’s so like the T: All promise with no follow through. Kind of like saying we’ll get you there on time but somehow you always arrive late.

This column was first published by Cognoscenti on November 24, 2017.

The Week That Was: Alabama Awful, Cambridge Corruption And 'Donuts' Are Done

It was the week when the Republican establishment discovered that there is someone even more problematic than Donald Trump: Roy Moore.

• Mall Rat. Maybe he’ll surprise us all and quit, but I’m not counting on it: Alabama’s Moore has made his career on never backing down and he likely won’t this time either. For Democrats, that makes the Alabamian a gift that keeps on giving. If he loses, the Dems pick up a Senate seat — good for six years. If he wins, Moore becomes the poster child for the GOP — the bogeyman Democrats feature in every political ad run during the 2018 midterms. And best of all, Moore’s depredations are making sure everyone overlooks those of Bill Clinton.
• Abdication. Trump returned from a tour of Asia that he bragged was “tremendously successful” and to give the president some credit, the optics for the most part were great. In his stops in Japan, South Korea, China, Vietnam and the Philippines, he hammered on international trade, one of the key issues that got him elected in the first place. The problem? The substance. China, in particular, was pleased with the president, and why not? With Trump essentially tearing up the U.S.-led Trans-Pacific Partnership, China now has free rein to dominate the region. America First at home means America Last abroad.
• Compatriots. Many were shocked during the Asian trip at Trump’s fawning treatment of Philippine strongman Rodrigo Duterte. Not me. Duterte had a long-running battle with Barack Obama, at various times calling him a “son of a bitch” and telling him to “go to hell.” The enemy of my enemy is my friend, I guess. Plus, Duterte has led a long, brutal and extrajudicial crackdown on illegal drugs. Given Trump’s own disdain for the niceties of the U.S. Constitution (especially the Bill of Rights), it makes sense they bonded.
• Kind and gentle. After stories broke last week of sexual harassment at Berklee College of Music, the school admitted this week it had fired 11 faculty members over the last 13 years for a variety of sex-related misdeeds. It’s good the college got rid of them, but bad the way it did so: slowly and quietly, with payoffs and confidentiality agreements. Hardly punishment at all. If we treated thieves the way Berklee treated abusers, all our possessions would be gone.
• Twofer. Even as they try to manage the Roy Moore crisis, congressional Republicans pushed forward on their tax overhaul, this time added a new wrinkle that feels like the zombie that just can’t be killed: repealing Obamacare’s individual mandate. Ultimately, that would mean the doom of the health care law which is, of course, the GOP’s objective. Plus, it makes tax reform a lot simpler: With less need to spend hundreds of millions on health care, the savings go right into the pockets of those benefiting from lower taxes. It’s Robin Hood in reverse!
• Is there an Uber for booze? A Boston Globe investigation found out that depending on who you know, the price of a liquor license in Cambridge varies from zero to hundreds of thousands of dollars. It’s outrageous and the Massachusetts Alcoholic Beverages Control Commission is now looking into the matter.  But what’s really outrageous is liquor licenses themselves. Just like with taxi medallions, liquor licenses limit supply and become a tradeable commodity, inviting abuse and stifling competition. The right approach: Permit a business to serve alcohol in the same way we permit it to serve food. Play by the rules — serve alcohol and food responsibly and safely — and the permit stays in place. Don’t, and you’re out of business.
• A rose by any other name. Dunkin’ Donuts, the Quincy shop that went international, is thinking about changing its name to just “Dunkin’.” The “donut” reference is archaic: Not as many of us are eating donuts and the chain wants to position itself as a coffee shop/all-day fast-food place. I get that. But how about “dunkin’”? Apparently, people once used to dip their donuts in coffee. Ugh. Sounds disgusting. In any event, who today is shoving their Big ‘N Toasted into a blue raspberry Coolatta? No one.
• And I thought I was doing so well… After struggling for years to get their blood pressure below 140/90, Americans learned this week that health care professionals just moved the goalposts, saying we now must be below 130/80. Great. Cut salt, exercise more, drink less and otherwise try to be a dietary saint and suddenly you find out that at best you’re in field-goal range. The doctors think the new numbers will encourage more Americans to address hypertension. Maybe. Or maybe we’ll just give up and go back to our chips and fries.
• Home together. And finally, after a year of trying to reconcile with family members offended by last Thanksgiving’s arguments over Donald Trump, Americans warily prepared for yet another round of raised voices, hurled insults and slamming doors. To be followed by yet another year of attempted reconciliations.

This column was first published by Cognoscenti on November 17, 2017.

The Week That Was: Dems Delighted, Berklee Blasted And Walsh A Winner

It was the week when a year’s worth of intemperate and nasty tweets finally bit back.

• Comeback kids. Democrats celebrated gubernatorial victories in New Jersey and Virginia, eyeing those wins and others in some local races as a harbinger of greater victories to come. “A tsunami,” wrote one partisan. In a bathtub, maybe. The win in New Jersey was easy to see; outgoing Gov. Chris Christie’s Bridgegate antics had tarnished the GOP brand. In Virginia, the results spoke more about the schism between the growing and wealthy Northern Virginia area — basically a suburb of DC -- and the rest of the state. And most critically, Hillary Clinton won both Virginia and New Jersey in 2016. For the tide truly to turn, the Dems need to flip a red state.
• Bernie was right. The GOP may have suffered at the polls, but the Democrats aren’t looking very good either. Former DNC chair Donna Brazile revealed that the Democratic National Committee rigged the primary process, cutting a secret deal to support the Clinton campaign long before the convention. That’s bad, of course. Still, one wishes the Republican National Committee had thought to do the same thing. If it had, maybe Jeb Bush would now be president.
• Deadly snafu. The mass shootings at the First Baptist Church in Sutherland Springs, Texas, at least provide a glimmer of hope for common ground between pro- and anti-gun folks. Gunman Devin Kelley’s prior convictions and aberrant behavior were enough to get him banned from purchasing guns. But because that information never made it into a nationwide database, he was able to buy — and ultimately shoot -- with impunity. Can we at least agree we should enforce the laws we have?
• Drip, drip, drip. The drumbeat of allegations of sexual improprieties continued, with new claims of appalling behavior by Kevin Spacey, Berklee School of Music professors, senatorial nominee Roy Moore, Louis CK and even Mariah Carey. Will this stuff ever end? Sadly, maybe not.
• Job interview goes awry. Boston mayor Marty Walsh crushed opponent Tito Jackson on Tuesday by a margin of 31 percent. It’s not that Jackson was a bad candidate; far from it. A few days before the election, Walsh had over $2.6 million in his campaign committee compared to less than $20,000 for Jackson. And if Jackson had been able to muster the same resources? The race would have been more competitive but Walsh still would have won. Taking down an incumbent requires identifying some vulnerability and being able to exploit it. Walsh had made mistakes, but early in his term, and he had shielded himself with his popular pro-sanctuary city and anti-Trump stands. Four years ago, Walsh’s narrow victory gave him a tentative hold on power. Now, the mayor is king.
• Good fences. Sen. Rand Paul was severely beaten by a man in a case that first seemed to have political implications — a la the D.C. softball shootings last June. It actually was just a beef over lawn care. Turns out, even members of Congress can be obnoxious neighbors.
• Kicking the can down the road. The Republicans’ big push for tax reform got complicated as the GOP contemplated Tuesday’s election results and the Senate unveiled a competing proposal. As near as I can figure, the problem is this: The GOP wants to cut the corporate tax rate to 20 percent but the money has to come from somewhere. The current targets include deductions for mortgage interest, healthcare and state and local taxes, all of which have fans in key constituencies. So what eventually happens? I know! Let’s increase the deficit!
• The measure of a man. Forbes magazine said secretary of commerce Wilbur Ross lied about his money to get on its list of the wealthiest Americans. Instead of $2.9 billion, Ross apparently only has $700 million. Seriously, the man’s embarrassed because he only has $700 million? You have to wonder: So what is he really embarrassed about?
• You deserve a break today. And finally, the president was mocked when it was revealed his favorite sandwich at McDonald’s was a Quarter Pounder with cheese, no pickles and extra ketchup. The catcalls were richly deserved. Everyone knows the best item on the menu is the Triple Cheeseburger. Mmm. I think I’ll order one now.

This column was first published by Cognoscenti on November 10, 2017.

The Week That Was: Manafort’s Millions, Tribeca Terror And A Buoyant Baker

It was the week when the indictments came down. And Washington held its breath.

• The lawman cometh. Special prosecutor Robert Mueller’s indictments of Paul Manafort and Rick Gates for money laundering and tax evasion landed like a bombshell but — because they had nothing to do with the Trump campaign — left the White House feeling pretty happy. Not so with the guilty plea of George Papadopoulos, which was all about Russian collusion. But after the Monday revelations, there’s been silence. It’s like being at home at night and hearing a window break. You’re nervously waiting for something to happen, but you know not what or when.
• Clearly not a Marshalls shopper. One thing we learned from the Manafort indictment: The guy’s a lousy crook. After funneling money to himself through secret accounts, he then spent it, as the feds put it, on a “lavish lifestyle.” Clothing: $1.37 million. Four new cars: $273,000. Rugs: $1 million. A SoHo condo: $2.8 million. Home improvements: $5.4 million. Landscaping: $656,000. Antiques: $623,000. Doesn’t this guy ever watch TV? The first rule with ill-gotten gains is not to be ostentatious in spending it. Otherwise, the cops figure out it’s you. Which, I guess, they did.
• History lesson. White House chief of staff John Kelly said on a news show that “the lack of ability to compromise caused the Civil War.” Oh geez. Really, John? The exact opposite is true: It was compromise — the Three-Fifths version embodied in the Constitution — that ultimately caused the war. Kelly is certainly right that for most things political, compromise is a good way to make policy, be it education, taxes, welfare, immigration and a host of other topics. But when it comes to human rights, the choices are binary. Either someone is entitled to human rights or not. There’s no middle ground.
• Big Apple ISIS. On Halloween, New York Sen. Chuck Schumer killed eight and injured a dozen when he drove a rental truck down a Manhattan walkway. Oh wait, sorry. It was Donald Trump who made this claim, blaming Schumer for the terrorist attack under the convoluted logic that because the senator was one of the majority of Congress that passed legislation allowing immigrants into the country, it was his fault one of those who came in became radicalized. Look. Every year 50,000 enter as part of the Diversity Visa Lottery. They’re vetted just like every other entrant. A few do bad things. Most, I’ll bet, do good things. Albanian immigrant Olsi Vrapi, for example, became a lawyer and owns his own firm. Schumer is no more responsible for Vrapi’s success than he is for Sayfullo Saipov’s evil.
• Bracketology. After days of dithering, GOP House leaders finally released details of their tax reform plan. The proposed legislation highlights once again the irrelevance of the president; the White House had little to do with its crafting. Still, if it gets to his desk, Trump will doubtless claim credit. If. Proposing something is the easy thing. Getting it passed is far harder. As with healthcare, members of Congress will find there are a lot of folks with an interest in keeping the status quo. Those with a mortgage, for example.
• Love me do. Public opinion firm Morning Consult reported that, yet again, Charlie Baker is the most popular governor in the nation. Fully 69 percent of Massachusetts voters approve of the job Baker is doing, which certainly must delight his re-election team. And a scary note for Democrats: All of the top 10 governors are Republicans. On the other hand, 8 of the 10 least popular are also Republicans. So maybe an “R” after your name doesn’t automatically mean you can do the job.
• Diversion. Remember the White House told us in the immediate aftermath of the Las Vegas shootings that now wasn’t the time to talk about gun control? OK, so how about now? Nope. Sorry. Now is the time to talk about immigration and tax reform. Indeed, discussion of even simple gun regulations — such as a ban on bump stocks — has largely disappeared. Turns out we should have talked about gun control when we had a chance. Sadly, there’s little doubt that someday soon we’ll have that chance again.
• It’s no Santarpio’s. Pizza chain Papa John’s blamed the on-going knee-taking protests at the NFL for a fall in sales. That’s one way to look at it. The other is that football-obsessed fans were willing to buy or consume pretty much anything associated with the League. Once their obsession wore off, they realized the stuff they were eating was one step away from cardboard.
• Fake science. And finally, October ended as the second-warmest October on record in Boston. Only second! See, that global warming thing really is a myth.

This column was first published by Cognoscenti on November 3, 2017.